Monday, October 17, 2011

I'm just me

Today was a mixture of emotions; the weekend was long, filled with uncertainty and slight self reflection.  This is the recap of the weekend (starting Thursday)

  • Fall Fest- blog to follow later this week
  • Made my dad a birthday cake
  • Dad visited..for 24 hours; we had some good meals, conversations, and got new phones!
  • Roommate moved to South Dakota :/
  • Complete room switch.  I moved into her room, Mike moved into mine, set up the dinning room and living room, cleaned everything & ready for our new roommate to move in
  • Average Errands
  • Orlando Jones at the Improv!  Cracked me up, nice guy too!
  • Slightly awkward conversations- just for good measure
Not a half bad weekend, just long.  Today was decent; talked complained to my mom about random things in life I just don't understand and probably never will.  Volunteered where I found out I'll be presenting my very 1st lecture this Friday on Arthritis and Physical Activity and headed off to the gym.  Now after reading my brother's blog, The Boring Runner, about awkward runners on last weeks Funny Foto Friday got me thinking - could I be one of those awkward runners?  I mean sometimes I lose myself in my music and semi dance, stretch a lot, walk/run a lot, beat red face, basically work around my science project of a body.  After today I've decided that yea I"m probably an awkward, inefficient, crazy entertaining runner but at the end of the day I'm just me, take it or leave it.

With that being said, I wasn't feeling too hott today so I figured I'd do a really long warm up and just see how things play out.  I really focused on getting a good walk/run method going, I figured that I'd do a really long warm up (.75mi) and cool down with .25-.5 mi walk section when I was getting tired or could feel my pain come on. During my runs, I am always worrying about my pain, how's my breathing, what song is playing, why is this person next to me when there are 20 machines open, my mind doesn't stop.

Today, today was different.  I focused on my breathing, tried to find the perfect rhythmic pattern.  I think I've mentioned before, but this is hard for me.  I don't particularly like to breath, therefore, I tend to hold my breath; yea I know I'm a weirdo!  During my run my mind became less busy, mellowed out, and I found a piece of me I  misplaced. 

Mile 1- Nervous about hurting myself, giving up half way, and proving to people I'm a fighter & don't give up easily
Mile 1.5 - Getting into the groove, enjoying my music
Mile 2 - Pain from my TOS, scapulas, back it all didn't matter- I was in control
Mile 3 - Didn't matter the girl next to me busted out the same distance in half the time
Mile 4 - Running wasn't about getting thin, looking hott for Halloween, or trying to impress anyone
Mile 4.5 to 5 - I was getting tired, sore, and knew if I kept going I'd be wrecked the next few days but it didn't matter.  I found my missing piece; I found the quiet spot in my mind where I could process things in my life and be okay with them.  I found the place where being me is enough.  I was just me and it felt great.

When was the last time you got your mind right? 


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