Thursday, August 16, 2012

My Deepest Fear

Fact: I haven't felt like myself in a very long time.  Maybe it is due to the slump of recovery or being in a state of limbo or trying to be everything for everyone or all of life stresses hitting me at the same time.  Whatever it is my anxiety about my life was somehow decreased when my friend sent me this quote.

What do I fear?
I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average.
I fear being forgotten...The past...Yesterdays' news.  I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night.  I fear letting those that I love down, letting myself down
I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is: mindset.  I fear dying without leaving my mark.  I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. 
These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.
I love my fear. 

I love this quote because these are the fears that no one talks about.  Sure, you think about them when you are falling asleep but do you tell them to someone or better yet - do you admit to yourself?  Chances are you don't.  I didn't tell others (until now) these are my deepest fears.  I have always feared not being enough, doing enough, and dying without making a difference to those around me. 

Fear is scary, can be silly, but fear drives you to a place you've never been before, challenges you, and forces to look at yourself in a different light.  I hope I don't lose my sense of drive and fear because I'm not sure what kind of person I'd be without it...

1 comment:

  1. Hi
    I can totally relate to how u feel. I havr R TOS witg pec minor c6 Radiculopathy and Scalene dysfunction. I'm scheduled for surgery on the 18. I am hoping it releives some pain
    God Bless
    Candace ♥