Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Remind me of...

They remind me of my struggle; my struggle for 'normalcy'.  They remind me of path to health, one that gives better quality of life.  They remind me I am special, unique, a fighter.  They remind me of the pain, the tears, and the tingles.  They remind me of the discomfort, self guilt, self pity, and lack of self acceptance. They remind me of my secret, hidden life.  They remind me of the lack of understanding, knowledge, and consistency among the medical field.  They remind me to keep moving forward, but to never forget where I was.  They remind me to take things with a grain of salt - not everything is life or death.  They remind me that I chose freedom to control my body and lifestyle....They remind me that I survived...

They still hurt, get caught on clothes, are red, puffy, and are slightly numb...I am grateful for the daily reminders.  I still don't love them.  They make me very self conscious; some people stare, some people make assumptions, and they give me armpit boob (not too cute haha) but it's okay.  It is all part of the process.  I'm sure in a few months I will say, "they remind me that I am beautiful and resilient" but for now... I'm still adjusting.

So, what are "they"?
          -My Scars
On difficult days, I read this and it helps.
From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story.  A story that says, "I have survived." - Mhar

The dreaded armpit flab/side boob haha


  1. Awe. That is so beautiful and so very true... You literally brought me too tears... Very Well Written...


  2. Oh my gosh, I was so excited to find this page!!! I had a very sudden onset of veinous TOS about a month ago and ended up with a rib resection and a scar under my arm. 5 weeks ago I didn't even know that TOS existed... Then my arm suddenly swelled up due to a blood clot from the compressed vein and I was tossed into this new crazy experience. The surgeon pushed to dissolve the blood clot and perform the rib resection immediately after to make sure it didn't reoccur. I have been SEARCHING for photos of what this scar will look like - specifically with the arm down - as I also have a weird extra crease and I'm really worried the scar might have some kind of adhesion. I'm at 4 weeks right now and I just want to know if it will get better and by how much. I'm a dancer and the way it creases now would be really hard to hide. Thanks for sharing your story and photos. If you would ever be willing, I would love to see what your scars look like now. Thank you again for putting this out there!