Thursday, July 12, 2012

Looking back...

This past few months have been beyond busy with work, school, life, and health concerns that I haven't felt like updating my blog.  More than anything, I didn't really feel as if I had anything interesting, inspiring, funny or any rants to share or anything that I was emotionally ready to share.  I got thinking the other day, where I was at this time two years ago and then last summer and how they seem like a lifetime away. 
Cliffs of Moher

Two years ago, I had just gotten back from my semester abroad in Ireland and traveling across Europe.  Lets not forget: experiencing Sin City with my best friend and cramming for the MCAT when I had a new outlook on life that caused me to feel medicine and the health industry weren't for me.  Two years ago, I wasn't happy about house hunting in Fort Collins, living in Colorado, and wasn't sure what I wanted to be when I "grew up."
Last summer, I was splitting my time between Fort Collins and Denver.  I worked 45 hours a week for 2-3 weeks then had 2-3 weeks off that was spent in Denver attending my first semester in graduate school.  I was transitioning from focused yet slightly reckless fun loving undergrad to highly determined grad student trying to match life experience obtained by her 30-50 year old classmates.  I attended my best friends wedding and moved to Denver full time in August.  My free time was consumed with playing the doctor hopping game trying to discover the source of several musculoskeletal and vascular concerns.  Last summer, I was exhausted, strung out, and emotionally broken.

So, where am I now?  Well last summer determined this summer.  A year ago, I found out what was wrong and shared the diagnosis in an October post but never told you what my decision was - surgery or to simply live with it.  The truth is, I didn't know.  I asked friends and immediate family members what they would do, asked them what they felt would be best, tried a thoracic outlet syndrome (TOS) specialized physical therapist, had tearful conversations, and drank many cocktails looking for the answer. 

It has been 12 and 16 days since I've had surgery; this summer, I had major invasive surgery...

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